is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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