I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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