That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
