I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
jump out the window naked night went bad
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
