why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
