this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
