I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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