These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
