It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
