possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
