sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she woke up with a sticky ear
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
