singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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