So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
