I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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