May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
