Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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