I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
