You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
