i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
