I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
