guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
