It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
