Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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