He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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