Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
