boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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