Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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