Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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