i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
