Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
