so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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