i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
