You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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