Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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