i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
