I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
