why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
high people should be assigned attendants
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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