when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
