she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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