I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
