if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
