There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
