i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
