I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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