If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize