I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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