WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm passing your future prison.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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