I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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