im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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