This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
