I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
