Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
