I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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