am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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