two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
